Does the media encourage toxic masculinity?
It’s Saturday night, and you’re settled on the sofa, popcorn freshly popped, watching ‘The Notebook’ for the 100th time. You sit there and watch Noah’s relentless romantic pursuit of Allie, wishing that you too had someone to chase you like that. But then, as the film goes on, you start to wonder — is this actually romantic? Or is this simply a romanticisation of toxic traits?
When one thinks of negative effects of the media and social media, oftentimes the focus is on females, and one tends to neglect the fact that men are also victims of toxic ideals. Over time, the media has built up an image of what it is to be a man: the physical traits, the lack of emotional availability, the passions, the careers, and such stereotyping can lead to men feeling suffocated.
What is toxic masculinity?
This is the result of teaching boys that they should not show emotion, because they must be strong, consequently furthering the idea that being emotional is a sign of weakness. This way of thinking then furthers the notion that violent behaviour is a good way to show power and strength.
Masculinity can also be considered as hegemonic behaviour. Hegemony, first developed by Antonio Gramsci, is defined as “leadership based on the consent of the led, a consent which is secured by the diffusion and popularization of the world view of the ruling class” (Bates, 1975).
The concept of hegemonic masculinity was first proposed in the 1980s, and “was distinguished from other masculinities, especially subordinated masculinities. Hegemonic masculinity was not assumed to be normal in the statistical sense; only a minority of men might enact it. But it was certainly normative. It embodied the currently most honored way of being a man, it required all other men to position themselves in relation to it, and it ideologically legitimated the global subordination of women to men” (Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005).
The expected behaviour of men is that of being powerful and constantly strong, not showing sensitivity, emotion or affection, and are typically expected to be interested in sports and cars, stereotypically male topics. Those who do not fit into these structures are consequently made to feel less like a man, and as though they must change themselves to fit in with others. In the Ted Talk below, Justin Baldoni talks about how, in order to fit in with other boys at a young age, he “had to acquire this almost disgusted view of the feminine”, and how had he not rejected these qualities, he would have faced rejection from his peers himself.
The media also supports these societal ideas, with movies and tv shows always giving these stereotypically presented men positive endings, with no consequences for their toxic behaviour. Romance movies, where the notion of the ‘bad guy’ is romanticised, and it is he who gets the girl, thus furthering the notion that nice guys finish last, and encouraging men to copy this behaviour to succeed. Not only romance movies, but also other genres where the men that are considered successful are portrayed as stoic, not having care for those around them, needing no help. Even movies as simple as Mulan glorify toxic masculinity, and the fact that such movies are directed at children shows how this ideology is instilled in children from a very young age. In the song ‘I’ll Make a Man Out of You’, the lyrics themselves portray one image of a man, insinuating that someone who does not have those qualities is less of a man:
‘Be a man,
You must be swift as the coursing river,
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon’
Is the media fighting against toxic masculinity?
In recent years there has been much more awareness about the concept of toxic masculinity, and there have been movements to fight against it. In 2019, Gillette released the advert We Believe: The Best a Man Can Be, in which they highlighted the frequent occurrence of sexual harassment on television, the notion of male dominance in the workplace, and the use of the phrase ‘Boys will be boys’, which is oftentimes used to excuse violent behaviour. In this advert, they call out the notion of toxic masculinity, and show how this is not the best a man can be, and they show how toxic masculinity is a problem that affects everyone.
In addition to this, there are a number of films which portray healthy behaviour, which will thus encourage a non-toxic form of masculinity, and show men that it is okay to talk about their feelings, like Rahim from Sex Education, to like literature more than sports, like Chidi from The Good Place, to cry sometimes.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine is one tv show which does this — it portrays healthy male friendships, has characters which fit the stereotypical macho appearance but who are still sensitive and respectful to others, and male characters who are not afraid to express their love and admiration towards their male friends.
A film trilogy which also does this is The Lord of the Rings. The films display various ideas of what a man is, but these are all non-toxic representations. The friendships are supportive and loving, and even characters which are strong warriors, such as Aragorn, are also seen as being sensitive, vulnerable, and respectful towards others. The films do not hesitate to show affection between men, something which society seems to have deemed ‘feminine’.
Apart from simply showing non-toxic behaviour, some films also portray conversations in which the men directly tackle the notion of what it means to be a man. In the film Captain Fantastic, the father teaches his son that it is important to respect women, which is something typically ignored in films with toxic masculine characters, who typically pay no attention to the feelings of the women they sleep with.
The awareness that is now building has started to create a space where men can move away from the toxic traits instilled in them by society, and can move towards accepting themselves for who they are, and not what society expects there to be. As always, there is still a long way to go, and there are many men who are made to feel invalid for having different passions, personality traits and appearances than their friends, but a movement towards better representation in the media is a step in the right direction.
References:
Bates, T. (1975). Gramsci and the Theory of Hegemony. Journal Of The History Of Ideas, 36(2), 351–366. https://doi.org/10.2307/2708933
Connell, R., & Messerschmidt, J. (2005). Hegemonic Masculinity. Gender & Society, 19(6), 829–859. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243205278639
